“There are only four kinds of people in the world: those who have been caregivers, those who are currently caregivers, those who will be caregivers, and those who will need caregivers."
– Former First Lady, Rosalynn Carter
Those words are so true. Almost half of all family caregivers are providing care for a loved one with dementia, according to data released by The Alzheimer’s Association. And 83% of care for older individuals comes from family members. That means that most of us, at one time or another, will either be caring for a loved one ourselves or know someone who is.
The challenges faced by family caregivers of loved ones with dementia can be overwhelming.
Out of love and a sense of duty, however, these selfless individuals give of themselves freely and fully, often to the extent that it impacts their own health. They won’t always show it and will often put on a brave face to shield their mental and physical fatigue. But it’s there and it is very real.
The National Council on Aging lists some of the tasks done every day by family caregivers. We’ve summarized them below, with a few more of our own:
If you can imagine doing the above every day, week in and week out, often missing any sort of break, you can begin to understand the stress and immense wear and tear on the body and mental well-being. And it can result in serious issues such as depression, anxiety, and physical illness. They are also experiencing a special kind of grief as they struggle to come to terms with the illness of their loved one.
If you know a family caregiver, here are some ways you can help:
Many family caregivers hesitate to ask for help, even though they may need it.
Often, they worry about being a burden, or they may feel that asking for assistance is a sign of weakness. This reluctance can lead them to respond with, "I’m fine" or "I’ll let you know if I need help," even if the load is heavy. That's why the way you offer help can make all the difference.
When offering support, try to make it easier for caregivers to accept. Instead of saying, "Let me know when you need help," consider a more specific offer. For instance, ask, "Is Monday or Tuesday a better day for me to drop off dinner for you?" or "I don’t have any plans this weekend. Would Saturday or Sunday work better for me to visit with your dad so you can enjoy some ‘you’ time?" By proposing a specific action and timeframe, you allow caregivers to feel more comfortable accepting help without the burden of asking.
Small gestures like these not only lighten their load but also remind caregivers that they’re supported and not alone. Sometimes, the best support you can give is by simply showing up and offering help in a way that’s easy to say "yes" to.
It’s time to reach out to the family caregiver in your life.
Offering help, even in the smallest way, can help take some of the pressure off of them. We encourage you to reach out to the friend or neighbor who is caring for a loved one with dementia. Family caregivers need you! Make it a part of your life to play a more helpful role in their life. Make sure they are aware of services including Caregiver Action Network, The National Alliance for Caregiving, and Share The Care. Or encourage them to take advantage of respite care through a local memory care community. They can also visit our Anthem Memory Care resource page for links to additional resources.
Finally, we welcome family caregivers to contact any of our Anthem Memory Care communities with their questions and concerns. Many of us have been family caregivers ourselves and understand the challenging journey you are on. We are always here to help!